Tips for finding the best care along your journey to conception
To celebrate Pride Month, our doctors teamed up with Mama Glow to share resources for LGBTQ+ individuals who are trying to conceive or thinking about it. For more great information, visit mamaglow.com/mamazine.
The decision to have a baby is a big (and exciting!) oneβand itβs the first of many youβll make during your fertility journey. The next major choice youβll have to make is who youβll turn to for treatment.
Fertility treatment can be draining emotionally, financially, physically and mentally, so having the right doctor and clinic is crucial. Not only do they need to have the best medical options available, but they should also have deep experience in treating patients who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, two-spirited or other sexual orientations and gender identities. Of course success rates are a key measure to consider, but itβs a journey. A clinic that communicates well, practices empathy and personalizes care is critical.
There are tons of clinics that post rainbow flags on their websitesβa promising signβbut of course, youβll want a doctor and clinic that can practice those values in person. Here, Bird&Be chief medical advisor Dr. Dan Nayot highlights the factors to consider when finding an LGBTQ-friendly fertility clinicβall to help make your big decision a little easier.
Get referrals from sources you trust.
You can hit up Google to find clinics near you, but nothing beats a recommendation from someone whoβs been there. Many of us tend to keep hush-hush about family-planning, but often, those whoβve been through successful fertility treatment are happy to share any information that would help others along. If you know an LGBTQ family that lives close to you (a nearby clinic is handyβfertility appointments can be frequent and short-notice), ask if they had a positive experience at their clinic and with their doctor. Theyβll likely be happy to open up and let you know how comfortable and supported they felt throughout the process.
Go deeper on the clinicβs LGBTQ2 training and policies.
Once you have a doctor or clinic in mind, youβll want to do your own research too. You can start on the clinicβs website, but you may have to phone to get more information, which isnβt a bad idea. A voice conversation can help you get a feel for the clinicβlisten to your gut if you donβt get a good vibe or feel uncomfortable during the chat.
Youβll want to confirm that the staff are trained in inclusivity, and also ask about policies that put that training into action. Are change rooms and washrooms gender-neutral? Do the staff understand the correct use of pronouns? Can any partner be in the room for consults and procedures? Are consent forms relevant to your situation?
You can also ask what percentage of the clinicβs patient population identifies as LGBTQ. Ideally, the clinic will have ample ongoing experience treating LGBTQ patientsβthis offers peace of mind that all the training and policies are practiced day in, day out.
Make sure the clinic meets your reproductive needs.
You might not have your exact fertility plan in place this early on (and thatβs totally OK), but for any elements you are sure of, check that the clinic is equipped to support with the right services. For example, what egg and sperm banks do they work with? Do they accommodate direct donation from a known donor (like family or a friend)? When a third-party donor or carrier/surrogate is involved, there are complex legal implications involved. Can the clinic recommend an attorney to help counsel you on your options and draft the required documents? How does the clinic support mental health throughout the journey? Are there financing options available?
If IUI or IVF might be part of your treatment, youβll also want to ask about the labβs technology. Do they perform conventional IVF or Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI, pronounced βick-seeβ), a newer technique that leads to higher fertilization rates? What sperm selection technologies do they routinely use? More broadly, what are the clinicβs success rates across various procedures? Make sure you are given estimates based on your clinical scenario, not in general.
You might also want to consider the clinicβs location and waitlist. Ideally, your clinic will be close to you and with a short waitlist, but there may be tradeoffs worth making to find the best clinic for you.
Come to your first appointment with questions.
AΒ comfortable patient-doctor relationship goes a long way during what can be an emotional and challenging journey. Consider your consultation an opportunity to start building that connection. Your doctor will likely have a lot of questions for youβbut itβs important that you get your questions answered too.
It helps to plan out what you want to ask in advance. Youβll likely be taking in a lot of new info, and itβs easy to lose track of questions on the fly. Here are a few to consider:
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Is the clinic able to accommodate your specific family building plans (for example, direct donor sperm, an international surrogate, etc.)?
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What ancillary services are available to help with the journey, such as counsellors, naturopathic doctors and/or legal counsel?
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What are the costs of different treatment options?
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What timelines might you be looking at and how frequent will appointments be along the way?
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What experience does the doctor have working with LGBTQ patients?
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Has the doctor recently worked with patients in your same scenario? If so, what went well in the process and what didnβt?
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How does the clinic handle egg and sperm donors?
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How much control will you have over the surrogacy process?
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Are there any regional/local regulatory issues to consider (agencies, cross-border laws, direct donation, sex-selection, etc)?
Make a move if you need to.
Whether itβs after your first appointment or later in the process, remember that youβre not locked in and you have options. If at any point you donβt feel right at your clinic, you can request a referral elsewhere (to a different doctor at the same clinic or another clinic altogether). Youβll want to make sure to get copies of all your medical records, and any notes you can make about each step of your process so far will help make sure you get the best care at your next clinic. A transfer might slow down your journey slightly, but sometimes a fresh start can pay off in the long run.Β