Mother’s Day While Postpartum Can Be Tough—Here Are 3 Reminders

For many, Mother's Day is an opportunity to celebrate, connect, and cultivate memories with family and friends. It’s a time to celebrate and to be celebrated. 

But, this day can often be layered, complicated, or nuanced, especially for those who are newly postpartum. 

It’s your day (or it should be). If you thought you wanted one thing but in the moment realized that it was too much, that’s okay.

• Whether you said yes to a Mother’s Day brunch

• Whether you thought you wanted alone time

• Whether you felt obligated to celebrate the other mothers in your life

• Whether you thought it would feel better to be social

If a wave of anxiety or nervousness or panic starts building, it’s okay to change your mind about the day you thought you wanted. You can always change your mind. No is a full sentence.

Celebration comes with assumptions, undertones of an outcome and a headline of: joy, accolades and achievement. 

What if your experience of Mother’s Day or being a mom doesn’t feel celebratory in this moment? Postpartum is a unique and varied experience. Not everyone feels that “greatest day of my life” rhetoric that often accompanies new parenthood. If you’re still processing, not there yet, or actively struggling, you can opt out of celebration. You’re allowed to prioritize time by yourself, or with your partner and baby over a family gathering or pictures to document the occasion if that feels like too much. 

For better and worse, the postpartum period is a series of phases—and they all pass. While living in the moment is so much easier said than done, it’s okay to lean in to wherever you are now, even if it’s filled with more sadness than joy. Tending to this part of your experience and what you need is a courageous way to continue to heal.

However you move through this Mother’s Day, I hope you continue to pause, to remember just how far you’ve come, and that you’re allowed to have multiple (sometimes even conflicting!!) feelings at once. And they are all valid.

Just remember—there is help available. If you’re struggling with postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety, please reach out to a trusted mental health professional for help. Even without a postpartum depression diagnosis, there are ways to help your day-to-day—if you could use a little more support, services like Cleo Care (a full-spectrum maternal care service including wellness treatments, meal delivery, and mental health support) can share the load. You don’t have to struggle through alone.